Page+for+Chemisty+related+jokes

Two atoms bump into each other. One says "Don't move! I think I've lost an electron!". "Are you sure?" asks the other atom. "I'm positive."
Outside his buckyball home, one molecule overheard another molecule saying, "I'm positive that a free electron once stripped me of an electron after he lepton me. You gotta keep your ion them."

A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of cokes. As she is about to leave, she asks the waiter how much she owes. The waiter replies, "For you, No Charge!!!"

A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".

What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.

Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.

Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? They bonded well from the minute they met.

What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Methylated spirits.

If H20 is water what is H204? Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. ..

What is a chemist's favorite kind of tree? a chemistree

How do sulfur and oxygen communicate? A sulfone

What did the chemist say when he found two new isotopes of Helium? HeHe.

What is a cation afraid of? A dogion.

What's the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.

What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? OH SNaP!

What did one ion say to the other? I've got my ion you.

What do you get if you combine Ba with 2 Na? A BaNaNa!

Why do chemists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements? Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

[]